The joys of youth are many, but few come close to the thrill of Halloween night where all the rules of ordinary society are temporarily suspended.
The sky is getting dark and the streets flood with mischievous ghouls and demons, cunning pirates and pretty princesses, all in search for one common prize: Halloween candy.
When your mom tells you that you can have one piece of candy, and you're already 10 pieces deep. When you're supposed to be back by 8pm, and it's already 10pm. That is why we love Halloween. Trick or treating is a night of chaos and splendor that most kids love.
The following weeks will be blessed with the bounty of Halloween treats.
Every kid has their favorite candy. It's a simple pleasure dumping out your plastic pumpkin at the end of the night, looking at your glorious pile of candy and spotting the very best in the mix.
Among the very best Halloween candy are always Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Skittles, Twix, Snickers, Milky Way, M&Ms, and Kit Kat.
Now there can be no good without evil. For every delicious highly valued Halloween treat, there's always its highly frowned upon counterpart.
Everybody has their own tastes, but there are a few candies over the years that have consistently been hated and rejected by the neighborhood kids.
Some of them will even remember the houses that issued these utter failures and seek to cause havoc and revenge next Halloween.
To help you stay on the kids' good side this year and to prevent your house from getting egged or toilet papered next mischief night, here is a compendium of all the worst Halloween candies.
The more you know, the safer your house will be.
Remember, Halloween of the old days used to be guaranteed destruction. Trick or treating was intended to be a truce between the old crusters and the menacing children on Halloween.
If you trick them, they will know.
THE WORST HALLOWEEN CANDY
1. BLACK LICORICE
Hands down, the most villainous of all the Halloween candies is black licorice. In an internet poll, black licorice won in a landslide for the most hated and vile candy to get while trick or treating.
Black licorice has consistently topped the list for decades. Why people still give it out unironically is beyond me. According to the American Heart Association, the candy isn't just terrible tasting, it's also dangerous to consume.
2. GOOD & PLENTY
It's no surprise that Good & Plenty also cracked the most hated Halloween candy list seeing as it is essentially candy coated black licorice.
As we said above, black licorice was among the most hated for revelers of the night to receive in their preciously limited-space pillow cases on Halloween night. And what the heck is the candy coating anyway?
3. CIRCUS PEANUTS
The circus of disappointment is in town featuring the peanuts made out of some kind of horribly oversweet foamlike substance that no kids want. Perhaps this is more of a trick than it is a treat, but beware, houses can be remembered, unlike tents in a traveling carnival. Perhaps try something more crowd pleasing than circus peanuts.
4. DOTS
You go to the grocery store all set to buy Halloween candy for the neighborhood kids who you love and adore. You walk down the aisle and upon all the various selections of wonderful candied dreams, you reach down and select a bag of dots.
What is is wrong with you? Do you want to be the neighborhood troll? These bland, gummy mounds of high fructose corn syrup are among the worst of the boxed candies.
5. NECCO WAFERS
When I was a kid and I got a pack of Necco Wafers, I was filled with a powdery gloom that could only be accompanied by eating these chalky little anti-morsels. My Dad loved them, but I think most kids would agree, unless they're all chocolate, they're good for garbage.
Keep in mind, the kids have limited space and weight in their trick or treating conveyances. Don't be a Halloweenie!
6. TOOTSIE ROLLS
Someone thought it would be a good idea to roll up a little wad of chocolate taffy that's barely chewable and present it as a legitimate trick or treat candy for Halloween.
Not only are tootsie rolls hard to chew, but they get stuck in your teeth and you have to taste them for hours. They couldn't even get chocolate right let alone the taffy part. You can roll these up and toss 'em in the trash can.
7. BIT-O-HONEY
If tootsie rolls weren't bad enough, somebody invented a worse candy that's similar in its unholy demeanor. It's all of the bad stuff of tootsie rolls but with a weird honey taste that no one could explain.
Most people have never even heard of the bit-o-honey until they went trick or treating for the first time and were utterly saddened when they unraveled the paper and popped them into their mouths.
8. SMARTIES
These tart little abominations are terrible to see when you finally get home and empty your trick or treat sack to marvel at your haul. There they are, sitting among all the decent candy you actually like, these sour, chalky irritations called Smarties that you'll have to trick your little brother or sister into taking in exchange for a Hershey bar.
That's probably why they call them smarties, only idiots get duped out of their good candy in exchange for them.
9. CANDY CORN
Now this may be a controversial topic. Some people absolutely love candy corn. While some hate it with a burning passion. It's likened to eating wax that is way too sweet but also somehow has no discernable flavor.
There is definitely a war over candy corn, but nevertheless, while it may crack some people's top 10, it also cracks the lowest 10 as well. So you decide on this one!
10. WHOPPERS
My mom used these candies once upon a time when she made her world famous chocolate malted milkshakes. The milkshakes made my childhood. Yet, that doesn't forgive the fact that whoppers by themselves are just atrocious and shouldn't be given out at Halloween.
Most kids would agree that they'd rather not see those chocolate malted balls in the mix with their Reese's peanut butter cups and Kit Kats.
In Conclusion
While you may enjoy some of the candies that made the top 10 worst Halloween candies to get while trick or treating, you must respect the majority. That's how democracy works.
Just remember that your personal opinion on these matters could jeopardize your property.
Use common sense as well as years of research and scientifically conducted statistics to determine which Halloween candy you'll be giving out this year!
If you liked this not-so-sweet criticism of the worst Halloween candy, check out Halloween Trivia That Will Light Your Pumpkin!
