Chuck Norris is an amazing martial artist and actor. As an Xennial, we grew up watching martial arts movies and always aspired to be like our heroes Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris.
According to Chuck Norris, He trained together frequently with Bruce Lee and they were good friends, but never actually fought outside of sparring. In The Way Of The Dragon, Lee and Norris fought one of the most epic, well-choreographed fight scenes in the history of martial arts cinema.
They gave Bruce Lee the victory in the movie, but the world will never know who would have actually won.
The only fight scene that could possibly compare was in John Carpenter's They Live, where Nada (Rowdy Roddy Piper) and his buddy Frank (Keith David) squared off in a filthy alley for 6 minutes. Just put the glasses on, man.
We came to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and we're all out of bubblegum.
Needless to say, our childhood was ripe with fighting movies. It was the best thing for a young lad, learning how to fight and defend yourself. It's fun and beneficial.
My brother and I both joined a karate class when we were kids because we wanted to be just like the badass ninja warriors you'd see in all the high stress fight scenes in every martial arts film.
My brother ended up earning his black belt in Taekwondo, and swears that it can help you in an actual street fight.
Throughout years of action-packed fighting movies and shows, Chuck Norris earned the reputation of being the ultimate badass.
When you're the ultimate badass, it's only appropriate that the world pays tribute to you in the form of endless comedy.
Below are some of the best, time-tested Chuck Norris jokes and puns that will leave you punch drunk and staggering for more.
The man, the myth, the legend.
Chuck Norris Jokes
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
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Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read, the books give Chuck Norris the information he needs.
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The Flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
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Chuck Norris cooks minute rice in 20 seconds.
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
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Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris underwear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has a diary, it's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with a cordless phone.
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Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around campfires.
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to land and make him drink.
- When Chuck Norris falls in the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
There you have it folks, you've heard it here first. Chuck Norris is a legendary character and receives all the respect he deserves.
These aren't jokes so much as they are facts about Chuck Norris.
He persists in his superhuman form.
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